Many of you who know me also know that I am blessed with a daughter who is absolutely crazy about tennis. Kalindi is now 12-and-a-half, trains about 25 hours per week, and has played for nearly two years. Working with her has taught me so much about teaching and learning that, after 30 years of tennis teaching, every day I am surprised how much more I have to learn. Here’s a highlight from this past month.

Another month has passed and Kalindi played her first Super Champs tournament in Texas a few weeks ago. Before the tournament, performance goals were set. Basically, she committed to what we call “stay with the program.” For her at that time it meant 3 things: 1) Being aggressive with her first serve 2) Keeping up swing speed on all ground strokes and returning serve, and 3) Early preparation of racquet and feet. Note that this early racquet preparation does not mean bringing the racquet all the way back, but rather the initial turn of the shoulders and hips that line a player up to efficiently move towards each shot.

Of course, like most juniors she had some ups and downs, but was mostly on target, staying with the program. In other words, she was process oriented. But we saw the opposite going on all around us. Players and parents alike often overwhelmed with results, appearing like it was all about winning and losing.

The ironic thing is that good results in the 12’s and even 14’s often spells bad news for juniors, since they will often push themselves to victory, a game style that loses in the older age divisions.

Kalindi had her checklist of reminders on her water bottle and looked them over on every changeover. Her results? People say pretty good for her first experience in the top tier of Texas juniors. She won 3 rounds, including a 3-setter, and lost in a closely contested 7-6, 6-3 quarterfinal match to the eventual finalist. Kalindi treats these tournament experiences as just that, experience. Not that she doesn’t fight for each point. She is an intense kid. The point is that winning and losing should not be the main concern, especially at these young ages. Help the kids under your care to see the bigger picture. The results will take care of themselves, plus they will have more fun in the process.

As a result of this experience, she now has new performance goals for the next 1-2 months. Then she plans to play another event in early December for the “experience” and to test the skills she has been working on. Of course, all of this sounds easy. Sometimes it’s not, especially for competitive parents (like me!). But, knowledge is power. If you commit to a process with children that emphasizes performance goals over winning and losing, everyone comes out smiling.